Valentines Day is looming. My calendar calls it “St. Valentines Day”, but I don’t see anything saintly about it. It sucks. Mostly it sucks because it brutally reminds the lonely hearted just how lonely their hearts really are.
I’ve never been good at Valentines Day. I think if you were to poll my past girlfriends you would realize that I’m not a terribly romantic person. You would also likely hear a few other choice things, which is why I do not advise you to poll my past girlfriends.
Valentines Day is a lot of pressure. You have to take all kinds of things into consideration. What she likes, what has meaning, what she wants, what you’ve given in the past, blah, blah, blah. I recall one instance (I don’t even think it was Valentines Day, it was an anniversary or some other important thing like that, but the point still stands) where I thought to myself “self, we should really try to be romantic this time around” and that sounded like a rather good idea at the time. So we (Self and I) went out and got a dozen roses. That’s twelve. Apparently roses are five bucks a pop.
I was going to say “I’ll let you do the math” but I wont. $5 x 12 = $60.
I know, I know, you can’t put a price on love. The depths of the heart cannot be judged by the depth of the wallet. All I want is a rational, grounded, understanding of what $60 could be! The sacrifice that $60 represented, at that stage of my life, was quite significant. But I digress.
Upon presentation of said floral arrangement I was shocked to hear “oh, flowers again…” Apparently this girl was wise to my ticks. More appropriately my one trick. For when it comes to affairs of romance and the such I’m really a one trick horse.
I lack creativity. I have no sense of the meaningful, what ever that is. I’m not spontaneous.
I am deficient in romance.
Unromantic.
Romance is too much pressure. If it’s the thought that counts its gotta be a good thought. And I’m kinda dumb.
And another thing! Spontaneous?! How the hell is a guy supposed to be spontaneous? Valentines day is right there on the calendar! Its hardly spontaneous if its scheduled.
So what’s to blame? Why is Romance so hard?
Movies.
That’s why. All these silly girls watch silly romantic comedies where all the silly guys are nothing but kind and loving and spontaneous and thoughtful and romantic. Some hunk or another does the right thing at the right time and always knows what to say. Well you know what? Most guys don’t know this stuff. Most guys have trouble figuring out their own feelings. How are they supposed to know how girls feel?
Why is all the pressure on the guy anyway? Isn’t love a two way street? A girl can get away with a DVD but a guy’s gotta do something meaningful and sweet.
I got on a little rant there.
Anyway, here’s to Valentines Day.
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3 comments:
I tend to agree with you on the subject. I like the idea of having a holiday set aside for romance and mushiness, but I get kind of annoyed when people pay attention to the wrong things for the sake of trying to be romantic and mushy like in the movies. The amount of money spent, the "originality" of the gifts, etc., are NOT the point (at least as far as I'm concerned). The point should be to just make some time for someone, and just be all romantic and mushy, in whatever way suits you best. So yeah, that's my over-wordy way of saying: I like Valentine's day, but only when it's done right.
I once received smoked fish. It took me by surprise, I didn't know how to act. Then he said he know I liked smoked fish. And it was better than flowers any day. Well, kinda.
Next time call me up and I can give you some pointers. Star athletes didn't get there without the help of a coach.
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