I have just around seven months left in my Peace Corps service. To be a bit more precise I have 31 weeks left if I choose to close my service (CoS) in July. With only half a year left its natural to look back and think of the things I’ve done.
My mind then goes blank.
A large part of the Peace Corps support structure is to remind us that we are just one person, one little cog, one little ant in the grand scheme of things. They remind us that even if our projects fail, if our support groups disappear and the clubs never fully form, our simple presence in the village, at the work place, changes lives and helps.
We will never see the change we make.
Despite these constant reminders its hard not to get discouraged. Most of the projects, due to a lack of commitment, money issues, misunderstandings, or what have you, have failed. Small projects, such as setting up gardens or co-ops get my hopes up, and then a month or so later turn into disappointments. This late in the game I don’t even know if I can say I’m giving it my all anymore.
Its hard.
At the same time I sit here and look back on the past year and half I’ve spent in Africa, living a life that would be hard to even comprehend in America, and think fondly of it. It’s a bit of a paradox. A sense of failure mixed with accomplishment.
The skills I’ll take away from this are far to interpersonal and deeply rooted to accurately explain. I’m certain that I can tolerate just about any work condition. I’m sure that when (if) I get a real job there wont be a task to hard, boring, or useless for me to take on. I’m also afraid I wont be able to share, in the true sense, how important this has been in my life.
Stories will be told, but details left out.
Memories related but meaning lost.
Merry X-mass if I don’t post before then!
2 comments:
Glad to see a new post :)
Your sentiments sound almost exactly like what Margie has to say about the PCV experience. She was in Thailand for 2.5 years and whenever anyone asks her about it she says "Well, it was 2 and a half years. How would you describe two and a half years of your life here?" Any period of time is going to be represented by its share of successes and disappointments. It just makes sense, when you think about it.
Yo Bro, what's up!? It's nice to see your posting again. It really helps break up my day here at work to see how you're doing down on the south side. (of the globe that is.)
Just remember what Joe Dirt says, "Life's a Garden... Dig It!"
So you've got 31 weeks left... go out with a bang! They say you'll have an impact on the people down there that you'll never see. How about leaving the impact of an example of resilance and undetered persistance. That despite the failures, you never give up and keep trying. Because it's not about how many times we fail, it's about how many time we try again despite the failure.
Success is in the journey, not the completion of a project. Success is in the attitude one has, even in the face of failure and setback.
Show those fools what it means to be american and never stop trying and never stop striving. Even in the face of adversity.
I think I just motivated myself...
l8r sk8r
-kel
Post a Comment